A year after I became a solopreneur, almost two years on from my mother’s passing, a time when I lost my way and then pieced myself together again, I have now chosen a name for my private practice. Or, more accurately, the name chose me.
Dhruva
The North Star.
Mariners and wanderers from ages past to modern-day nomads have found their bearings with this True North in the sky. It’s perceived to be the one fixed point in an otherwise constantly-moving universe, where the other stars and the earth itself and all those on it are constantly in motion.
And so it came to symbolize being an anchor, a guide, a source of inspiration, a beacon of hope, a path shaper. When you find the North Star, you know you won’t be lost anymore.
With the guidance of our own internal compass, which knows our purpose, our dreams and ambitions, and being inherently stable, steady, centered, it was to be trusted. The True North thus meant spurring personal growth and finding our true selves, the self that lies hidden beneath layers of sadness, depression, anxieties, self-deprecating thoughts, abuse, rejection, failures, isolation, loneliness, and whatever else that weighs us down.
This name that chose me has reinforced yet again that what I have now is not just a practice. It’s my calling. It’s what I’ve been shaped to do. It’s what gives me purpose and meaning. And it’s what takes the sum of all my experiences and emotions, and centers them all around who I am—inside and out.
When I started to reflect upon why the name chose me, I went down this path of questions and answers, guided by my True North. Perhaps you will identify with these questions and answers too. And perhaps you will find your True North too, as I have.
Here are those questions. And answers.
My True North,
How will I discover wondrous things if I don’t wander?
But also, how will I know I won’t get lost if I do wander?
How will I know what lies beyond the horizon,
If I never leave the shore?
But how will I know I’ll find my way back to the shore,
If I am unmoored?
How will I know who I am,
If I don’t find out who I am not?
What will it take for me to part the sea of confusion,
And find the land of clarity?
Is it you that is my North Star,
Or is it me?
Will I shape my experiences and emotions,
Or will they shape me?
Do my relationships dictate how I am,
Wholesome or a jumbled jigsaw puzzle?
Or do I make relationships what they can be?
Will I have the courage to take on the world,
And not be weighed down by expectations, of my own or of others?
Will I able to gaze upon the limitless sky
And find that unblinking, brilliant fixed point to guide me?
What will it take for me to lose that which holds me back?
And what will it take for me to find myself?
I look at you, my North Star,
And I realize, all I need to do is look at myself,
To look within.
For, it is not just the questions that reside inside me.
The answers all spring from within too.
Because the darkness-dispelling light is within me.
The darkness-dispelling light is truly within me…
~~~~~****~~~~~****~~~~~
When I reflect back on the year gone by, to the time when I had commenced the journey of setting up my own private practice, I realize how much my Dhruva has been guiding me, now that I have found it.
This may all seem serendipitous to you, but I guess my inner self knew what it was doing, and what it was guided by.
I had carefully selected art work for my “den” where I would be seeing people for psychotherapy and coaching and had picked up the following pieces that read:
“We are stars wrapped in skin, the light you seek has always been within”
“Go find yourself first.”
“Find the place inside yourself where nothing is impossible.”
At home, I had done up a wall of Mom’s pictures, and exactly a year ago, I placed a plaque below it that read “My True North, Strong & Free.”
I didn’t realize it at the time. But last week, my North Star unveiled itself as what has been guiding me.
“Dhruva,” guided by Mom, my True North. On one hand, I wish she was here to see it in person, but I also know she resides within me, because she is the source, and the spring.
Wish me luck 😊
(PS: The next blog post will be what finding your True North could mean for you, what I have experienced on this journey with individuals I have worked with in therapy, which means the translation of this name into moving on a path of self-discovery, transformation, and healing.)
The North Star still in the sky, while the entire Northern Sky moves around it.
*Banner Image picture credit goes to my friend and ace photographer, Abhishek Kumawat, who shot this beauty at Wari La High Camp, Leh (Ladakh)