When All This is Over...
I sit at my improvised workstation placed strategically by the window in my living room. Pictures of the family smile at me when I look up from the screen and my eyes wander to the clear blue skies with white clouds flitting around. A stark contrast from the brown, oppressive haze that would often smother us when we would step outside. I hear the birdsong, and see the colorful butterflies kissing the plants that grace our small garden in the front. There are no cars and bikes racing around; no people chit chatting in front of the Mother Dairy. The parks and the roads bear an isolated look, wondering how the burden on them had eased so much. Those same roads that were trudged upon by health enthusiasts, school kids and their families, friends who would get together to catch up on an evening stroll, post dinner leisurely walkers catching up with neighbors. Those same roads littered by ice cream wrappers and cigarette butts now heaved a sigh of relief. The flowers blossomed more because of the sunlight and the clean air. Earth was finally getting some time to rest. There is silence all around; comforting to some, eerie to others. This, for the past two weeks or more, has become the new normal for us, as we in India are on a strict lockdown because of the coronavirus outbreak.
I know many of us are reflecting on how this lockdown affected us personally, the way we see the world around us, our relationships, our lifestyle, our ways of working, our ways of thinking, our worries, our expression of appreciation and gratitude, our regrets and our promises. Promises of how we will look at the world with a new set of eyes once this lockdown is over. Even if we became more mindful of the way we live from now on, from the smallest to the biggest aspect of our lives, I would think we are contributing and influencing our collective consciousness.
My workstation and 14 1/2 year old black lab, Jopu :)
When all this is over, this is what I wish to remember for myself, this is what changed for me, forever.
When all this is over, I will remember:
The power of free will and the freedom to exercise it
Gratitude goes a long way.
How privileged I am to have a home, resources to buy meals, and savings to fall back on. And how instead of just acknowledging it, pitying the ones who struggled while we enjoyed the comforts of our home, I can do something meaningful for those who may not be as resourceful.
Suffering is what reminds us all of our being human.
To continue to appreciate those who have risked their lives to provide for us. The people who have worked at the grocery stores, the vegetable and fruit vendors, the pharmacists, the cleaning crew in our neighborhood, the police, the medical professionals. The list is endless. In other words…
To continue to appreciate people for what they bring to our lives, whoever they may be, and to give more of ourselves to others in forms of support.
Love and kindness find new, uncharted, undiscovered depths that were never known before.
To not take people and relationships for granted.
An act of kindness goes a long way: I spent 10 minutes talking to the guy at the pharmacy store addressing his fears of contracting the virus, and to practice self-care while doing long shifts.
The friends who reached out after decades to move beyond past foibles and to reconnect. Forgiveness is a great leveler.
NOW is the time to heal from within, to pull out our heads buried under the sand, to embrace our fears and deal with them head on.
The Earth needs our mercy and kindness: I will be taking the metro to work more often than driving. Every small step matters.
To focus on the present moment like always: “This too shall pass,” “One day at a time,” “I’ll cross the bridge when I get to it,” “I’m grateful for yet another fulfilling day,” “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger,” have been some of my favorite mantras.
My Dad’s octogenarian older brother’s wisdom: His only form of entertainment, the television, stopped working and he couldn’t get a new one. He said, “I realized if I don’t enjoy my own company, then I can’t expect others to enjoy it too.”
There is no such thing as too much time to bask in your dog’s company.
To continue to be patient, kind, gentle, and supportive of my aging Dad: His worries are real to him, even if unfounded for me, and must be addressed.
Tough times bring out resilience, innovation and invention: Be it improvised work out routines in the four walls of your house, or a stack of books for a laptop stand, a borrowed desk in the living room as your office.
One can live with very less and still be happy.
Not to be wasteful and express gratitude for what we have in abundance: Even a simple meal for us could be a luxury for someone else. Create and consume wisely.
There are several ways to look at the same situation. Depends on what lens you want to see the world with: Abundance or scarcity? Optimism or pessimism? Hope or hopelessness? Concern or worry? Love or hatred? Patience or impatience? And so…
There is always a silver lining to a dark cloud if we choose to look for it.
Pausing, refreshing, reflecting, slowing down and savoring the moment makes us more productive and efficient: Pause to see the stars, the full moon, the night sky, and the sunrise. Use all your senses to appreciate nature at its best.
Life doesn’t need to be rushed through: Appreciate your kid’s excitement when they show you a drawing they made, something they wrote, their struggles with trying to spell out a word, their small gestures to cheer you up. They will grow up in the blink of an eye.
The power of hugs; how they heal and bring cheer.
To continue to keep my tolerance threshold high so that minor irritants don’t rattle me.
To learn to pick my battles and invest my energy wisely.
To continue the hobby I picked up and not let the busy-ness of life suppress it once we get back to our post lockdown lives.
Now is the time to let “things I once wanted to do” breathe and come up for air and live a life. Whether it’s learning to play that instrument, to write poetry, learn an online course, or cook; let it dance its tune.
Zoom will forever be thanked, for reuniting friends and family. Whether it’s a milestone 50th birthday for my brother-in-law or for the college reunion of 4 friends who met again after 27 years.
Every word and action offering support makes a difference. A simple act of reaching out to friends could cheer someone up.
Cleaning clutter and opting for a minimalist lifestyle is destressing for sure.
There are 38 steps and 70 banisters on the staircase in our home. I never paid so much attention to details in the house.
The same house that I couldn’t find my solace in after Mom passed is providing me comfort and joy, once again. I just changed the lens with which I was seeing it.
I will continue to use my time wisely, and spend time in self-care, taking care of family, my work, and loved ones. That’s always priority.
How completely distressing yet rewarding it is to be pushed out of one’s comfort zone.
How my heart went out to all the people who died lonely and in isolation in the ICUs across the world. How medicine and end of life issues will probably be looked on in a new light.
How fragile we feel when faced with our own mortality. And how on the flip side, we want to make the most of the one life we have, to live to the fullest, to make a difference. And so we make resolves.
I will take it in my stride that some families and couples I was working with may actually fall apart once the lockdown is over…
Or some may realize how petty and insignificant their squabbles were and how a new lease of life is so beautiful. And that becomes a wake-up call.
How beautiful it is to spend time as a family with our Man Friday and our cook. They have always been an important part of our lives and will continue to be.
This lockdown revealed so much of us as people: the way we fall apart at the seams, or the way we hold it together; the way we stepped out of our own distress and helped someone cope or avoided talking to people because we internalized our stress.
How we saw some true colors of people we thought we understood well.
How human touch and physical presence can never be replaced by virtual “connections” permanently. And if that is the new norm, then counseling and healing will be redefined radically.
You learn to be comfortable with the way you look: Scraggly hair, bushy eyebrows, unmanicured nails, dry skin on hands with all the washing; and that makes you realize it’s the beauty within that really matters. The being is untouched within.
I have the choice to prioritize self-care and overall well-being always; whatever may be the situation.
The world may never be the same again, and instead of questioning or judging it, I will learn to embrace it and take it in my stride, and choose to influence bits that I can...I can therefore choose to complain or make the most of what I have. I choose the latter.
One must always look for moments that bring joy even on days that seem dull and gloomy.
True friends will always see us through, in the shifting sands of time.
It is always Now. Life is always lived Now. Not in the shadows of the past, nor in the anticipation of what lies ahead.
Mental health may finally get its due in the times to come. People may realize that it’s OK to feel distressed, and it’s OK to seek help. We are all in this together.
When all this is over, this is what I wish for myself to remember, this is what changed for me, forever.
The list may go on…